Post That Brings Good News To Wankers

(I copied this off another blogspot site [www.mitchieville.blogspot.com] and decided to post it here as it may be relevent to some people's interests. Although some peoplelikeYenchwould know this already)

Australian researchers have come to the conclusion that men could reduce their risk of developing prostate cancer through regular masturbation. In other news, there is no other news:
They say cancer-causing chemicals could build up in the prostate if men do not ejaculate regularly.

Imagine, all those times you told the ladies that if you don't *get off* you could die, wasn't a lie.

Men who ejaculated more than five times a week were a third less likely to develop prostate cancer later in life.

I'm sure most of you are doing the math right now and figuring if you're 1/3 less likely to develop cancer if you stroke it 5 times a week, then you're probably closer to 20x less likely considering your dirty little habit.

How does masturbation prevent cancer, you ask?

The researchers suggest that ejaculating may prevent carcinogens accumulating in the prostate gland. The prostate provides a fluid into semen during ejaculation that activates sperm and prevents them sticking together. The fluid has high concentrations of substances including potassium, zinc, fructose and citric acid, which are drawn from the bloodstream.

I believe those are the same ingredients in a Caesars salad.

I'm sure most of you are doing the happy dance right now, thinking you are immune from cancer. Well, you're not. You fluked out. Your bizarre fetishes and freakish obsessions may have put you on the road to physical fitness, but it still won't keep you out of the clink if you're caught acting out your grotesque masturbatory puppet show by the police.

I suppose what I'm saying is this: Even though you think your unnatural chronic masturbation habit is good for your health, you still have to eat right and exercise, stop smoking and cut down on your booze intake. Combine that with your disgusting habit of jerking off like a deviant who needs psychological help, and you may live a few more years. If you think that masturbation is the answer, you haven't asked yourself all the right questions.