The Post That Has Reached The End Of The Road

Driving can be like an art. It's totally unchoreographed, but usually very coordinated. Unfortunately there are dickheads on the road which spoils everyone's fun once in awhile. It's probably caused by the overly simple test you get at the start. You go in, they give you a piece of paper with 30 multiple choice questions on it, then you select the correct answers. If you pass, you pay your $60 and receive a L-license; fail, and you come back the next day to re-do it. A solution would be to scrap this test and replace it with an IQ test. Pity this won't happen in the near future (as long as Jeremy Clarkson isn't in charge of this), so we have to learn how to drive safely. Or in other words, drive like everyone's out to get you.

For this, some of us boys went up to Ipswich to take part in a Safe Driving Training course. There they taught us how to deal with cars with no ABS (that's Anti-lock Braking System) and how to steer properly. The braking course was where I met my greatest nemesis...

... Okay, maybe that's an exaggeration. It was a Proton Savvy though. Size of a proton and not savvy. I had the privelege of hopping into it first, before everyone else had the chance to enjoy what the little Malaysian car had to offer.

The interior's basic, of course. For $16,999, you pay for what you get. There was a stereo, air-conditioning, cup-holders (of course) and other usual things you get in a car like a steering wheel and pedals. The car that I drove had the optional Tiptronic gearbox, which is an automated manual.

And it was absolutely rubbish. In the time it took to shift gears, 3 days had passed. Coupled with a weedy little four-pot, 0-100km/h was completed in the time it took a new universe to be formed. But with $16,999, you also get ABS which is standard among most new cars.

Which is a very good idea. Earlier in the day, we had to do a course which involved driving and heavily braking a non-ABS equipped and ABS equipped car. As some of us might know, ABS is there to prevent your brakes from locking up. Therefore your tyres will continue to move and you will always have grip. I was in the non-ABS equipped car first, an old Nissan Pulsar. Rubbish car, coupled with a driver with no experience with a non-ABS car results in hilarity. For most anyway. I managed to run over 4 policemen (see: cones) in my first go. Second one was a lot better, with the tyres not locking up at all, so I got full control of the steering. My last run was a bit of a disaster, with me running over 3 policemen and into the imaginary semi-trailer (once again, see: cones).

It's pretty frightening when you think about it. We take all this technology in our cars for granted. We complain about the amount of abbreviations there are in the driver's car manual. However it's there to prevent accidents. The difference between a non-ABS and ABS equipped car, could possibly be the difference between being able to swerve around an obstacle or being lodged underneath a truck. It could happen, and it does happen.

We saw pictures of such events and they are truly frightening. It's sad to see such things happening in this day and age, but the thing is some drivers are stupid. It's something we have to live with, so all we can do is learn how to drive smart!

The Post That Is Better Late Than Never

It's been out for awhile, but I've only just discovered it. Mike Skinner (a.k.a. The Streets) is back with a new album. It's called Everything Is Borrowed and it's great, much better than his previous album, The Hardest Way To Make An Easy Living. Everything Is Borrowed's sound is similar to his first two albums, Original Pirate Material and A Grand Don't Come For Free. Brilliant.

Below is the final verse and chorus from "Heaven for the Weather", the second single off Everything Is Borrowed.

You tell the devil in no uncertain terms
You'll never be evil, you'll never be turned
What is this evil? And who decides this?
When left to devices some humans try shit
This is the reason we should all be tied up?
We're just normal people exploring our minds
We don't go around here putting poison in wine
But we enjoy what we like which is not always right
People are intricate, people aren't swines
Let's screw the rules up and rely on our minds
Sign on the line
You sign on the line
He clutches the wine and tips it in cyonide

I want to go to heaven for the weather
But hell for the company
I want to go to heaven for the weather
But hell seems like fun to me

I do like the lyrics, and the tune. It's rather catchy, in the way that "Fit But You Know It" was. If anyone wants the song, send me a message on MSN. I'd be more than happy to send you some of that. Perhaps get some of you lot into The Streets.

*I'll post a review of PES09 soon, maybe this weekend.